IT'S a mess. Using the original television series as a starting point this dumbed-down, dolled-up Charlie's Angels mixes up the balletic fight sequences of The Matrix, the pyrotechnics, gadgets and even orchestral riffs from the Bond formula, and the visual gags and innuendo of Austin Powers.

This doesn't leave much room for storytelling. The film is so preoccupied with making the girls - Cameron Diaz as Natalie, Drew Barrymore as Dylan and Lucy Liu as Alex - look sexy and kick-ass, that plot can only be an afterthought.

Here's the plot in a nutshell: the angels are trying to snare a ruthless, high-tech baddie. There are a couple of minor plot twists, but, as far as the story goes, it is business as usual in Hollywooddom.

Or worse. It is as if the hairdressers and costume department are calling the shots. Unnecessary scenes are introduced so that the girls can flounce about in disguises and wigs - leather Heidi-of-the-mountain outfits, belly dancing skirts, Japanese kimonos, bikinis, wet suits and so on.

Charlie's "three very special girls" special skills are mainly in the T'n'A department, wiggling their arses (Cameron Diaz's wiggling bum gets lots of screentime, in particular), showing off cleavage as well as wielding their stilettoed feet (the angels do not use guns at the behest of Barrymore, who was one of the producers).

This giggly trio make the original angels look positively deep. The decision to back off from giving the new angels an internal life doesn't help - instead we have to make do with light comedy about Alex's baking ability, Natalie's dancing skills and jokes about what airheads these girls are.

The two boyfriends in the film are even more dumb - well they have to be. The most compelling male character is Tim Curry as a fat cat tycoon, even though he doesn't raise a boot or a hand in a karate chop at any point. Meanwhile, Bill Murray does his familiar dead pan routine in the role of Bosley, the middleman between the angels and the voice-of-Charlie, the mysterious mogul who we never see.

With such a weak story, the film tries to make up by piling on the music. The cluttered soundtrack, which has everything from Motley Crue to Rod Stewart, from rap to Latin beat, leaves one with that exhausted sensation you get after a marathon session watching pop videos. It's difficult to see a method behind the choice of tracks. Songs with "angel" in the lyrics seem to be favoured, although l don't remember "angel" appearing in Slap My Bitch.

Megabucks movie this may be, but it has more in common with B movies about martial arts bimbos than the beautiful, relatively sophisticated crime-fighters of the original Charlie's Angels television series. It may look good in those trailers, but just don't expect it to have a brain too.