Surely you know that Conan The Barbarian is the film that truly put Arnie on the map. Before that all the great man was known for was being big and strong and for winning those competitions where you have to be big and strong. Sure, The Terminator cemented the legend, but in Conan it was truly forged. Also, it contains the single greatest line of dialogue he has ever spoken. More on that later...

Conan was created back in 1932 by pulp author extraordinaire Robert E. Howard for the magazine Weird Tales. Over the years Conan's fame grew as his stories were republished and tackled by new authors after Howard's suicide.

Comics were the next media field where Conan captured another generation of young minds, as his stories were adapted by Marvel in the Sixties and Seventies. It was then, as Arnie achieved the highest accolades in bodybuilding and George Butler's 1984 docudrama Pumping Iron came out that Hollywood snapped up the rights to the bloodthirsty, muscular swordsman.

A perfect marriage, then? But who could realise this wondrous vision? None other than director/screenwriter/one time surfer John Milius, whose right wing leanings were coming more and more to the fore with each film he directed, and screenwriter/coke addict/Vietnam veteran Oliver Stone. Never mind how these two men ended up making a sword-and-sorcery film. Just rejoice that they did, with all its strum, drang, blood and thunder, making it as over the top and glorious as it is.

Perhaps, it is easy to sneer at Conan The Barbarian for its simple tale of revenge and half-baked fantasy and for all the crappy sword-and-sorcery movies that came after, hoping to imitate its success. But it's hard to stay mean spirited, especially when you see how seriously everyone involved is taking it. How serious minded? The film opens with a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche! Their commitment to the world and story of the film guarantees our enjoyment.

Schwarzenneger's acting makes up in earnestness what it lacks in the professionalism of his later performances - yes, I know what I just wrote; please God forgive me. But there are a number of other performances which can be savoured, from James Earl Jones's creepy villain Thulsa Doom, Max Von Sydow's enraged and shouty King Osric and last, but not least, Mako's wily Wizard. These guys know exactly what film they're playing in and how to make it work without looking foolish.

While the film will never be considered a true classic, it will live on due to its over enthusiasm and sheer enjoyment. People will find entertainment in some of the cheesiness and yet be thrilled and excited, as Conan rampages across the screen with his blood-dripping broadsword.

And that greatest piece of Arnie dialogue ever? When asked what is best in life, Conan responds in a loud, straight faced monotone: "TO CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES, SEE THEM DRIVEN BEFORE YOU AND TO HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THEIR WOMEN!"

Never has Arnie said anything that sounded so threatening, yet so funny, at the same time. God bless the man!